you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
