I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
She announced her abortion via fbk
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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