I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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