cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
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