It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
the gays at disneyland are vicious
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Randomize