I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
