lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
