I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
MIDGETS
????
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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