It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Randomize
