He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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