he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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