Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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