Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Randomize
