she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
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