didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
