I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
