Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
