well most of my day revolves around power hour
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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