i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Shame - the story of my life.
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