He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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