Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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