You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize