i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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