Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize