My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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