So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
