why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
