he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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