booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
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