They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
