You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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