He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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