I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
