stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
