would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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