I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
