I wanna bring you to show and tell
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
