Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
