i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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