I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
