Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
You are the jesus of drinking
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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