i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
