so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I can't turn off my feet"
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Randomize
