Will you blow on my dice?
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
i just had sex bonerless
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Randomize
