I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
