Someone shit on the floor
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Randomize
