READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
