another moral hangover. fuck.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
