Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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