its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
