Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
