just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
