Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
