my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
