In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Drunk is not a location!
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
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