I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
