a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
