hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
You can't special order awesome
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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