I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
