i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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