All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
operation harelip BJ is a go
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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