I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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