I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
