she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
