WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
