you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I am puke
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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