then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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