Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
