Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize