Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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