We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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