Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Randomize
