My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
