Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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